


And you smiled because you knew

by Rosesnfeathers



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, I quoted Romeo & Juliet because why not?, Liam is like 18, M/M, Tutoring, and Zayn is twenty something, blowjob, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 21:26:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4495305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosesnfeathers/pseuds/Rosesnfeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>According to his teacher, Mrs. Roberts, his tutor's name is Zayn and he is supposed to be waiting for him by the front desk. “He’s really handsome,” she had said, “dark hair always high up in the air and he also wears glasses.” </p><p>Of course he is. He is a nerd studying English for fuck’s sake. Liam makes his way through the door, the Library still silent and almost empty except from some old man behind the front desk, with grey hair and a huge mustache and next to him stands a boy who must be Zayn.</p><p>Or</p><p>Liam fails English and needs some tutoring sessions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And you smiled because you knew

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Romeo & Juliet" by William Shakespeare

Liam is standing outside the huge building of the Library, looking up at it and wondering maybe for the seventh time this morning what the hell is he doing here? He removes his snapack, scratching at his hair a bit before putting it backwards on his head.

 _Football_. That’s why you’re here Liam.

If he fails English, he can forget playing football because if his grades keep going down, he would be off of the team, Coach Cowell made that clear.

That’s why he is on the University grounds on this early Saturday morning, because his teacher wanted him to get some tutoring by some boy majoring in English.  Some boy, she said, would help him get better grades because she was pretty fond of him herself and kept saying to Liam that he was probably the best to help him.

The Library is some kind of old brick building with big wooden doors and he knows it’s the one reserved for Arts and Litterature students but it looks so… Pretentious? There is even some kind of huge clock out front and he looks up as the hand of it finally shift on the number eight. With a sigh, Liam hooks his backpack higher on his shoulder before finally climbing the stairs to the Library.

According to his teacher, Mrs. Roberts, his tutor's name is Zayn and he is supposed to be waiting for him by the front desk. “He’s really handsome,” she had said, “dark hair always high up in the air and he also wears glasses.”

Of course he is. He is a nerd studying English for fuck’s sake. Liam makes his way through the door, the Library still silent and almost empty except from some old man behind the front desk, with grey hair and a huge mustache and next to him stands a boy who must be Zayn.

Last summer, just before starting up his last year as an High School student, Liam went on some holidays with his parents and sisters and he met a boy named Louis. Louis made him realize, to his own surprise that he was maybe as attracted to boys that he was to girls. They had some pretty steamy make out session late at night on the beach and Liam even got his first blowjob given to him by Louis. They kept in touch, always texting and sometimes skyping but they both realized pretty soon that they are better friends than anything else.  

Liam takes a mental note to text Louis later because if he made him realize his attraction towards males, than Zayn who is supposed to be tutoring him is a pretty clear confirmation of it all over again.

He is like… More than handsome, fuck, he is _beautiful_.

His hair is not high up in the air like Mrs. Roberts had told him, no. It's shaved on the sides and they fall a little in his face in beautiful dark waves. The glasses are on, though, black rimmed, and Liam instantly thinks of Clark Kent by seeing them. He is wearing a white t-shirt, the collar resting low on his chest and Liam sees some ink peeking from it. On top of his shirt is a grey cardigan with the sleeves a bit too long for him, falling over his hands where Liam sees the glimpse of a few silver rings. Then, he is wearing some black skinny jeans and brown combat boots. He looks just a tiny little bit like a nerd but most of all like a freaking model.

Zayn looks up at him then, hiding behind his dark fringe, “Um, are you Liam? The one i’m suppose to be tutoring?”

His voice sounds like velvet in Liam’s ears, soft and quiet and his thick accent makes it even prettier. Liam wants to eat him whole. Wants to strip him from all those clothes and see if he can find more ink underneath it all. How is he supposed to listen to him when all he wants to do is to pull him in one of the aisles and suck him off against the book shelves.

“The one and only, babe.”

Zayn looks at him a bit more sharply this time, no more shyness in his eyes. He looks upset by Liam’s words, and the red of his cheeks is nothing like cute embarassement but more like anger. Okay... Liam knew he is kind of bad at flirting but not bad enough to make people angry at him? Zayn was probably into girls, anyway, and he should have kept his mouth shut instead of calling him “babe” right away.

Without a word, Zayn turns his back to him and starts walking forward into the Library and when he reaches the far end of the tables area, he drops his bag onto one of them before sitting on one of the chairs. He does all of these things in silence, picking up his laptop and turning it on.

Liam had followed him and now he is standing next to the table, not knowing if he should sit or run away with the look Zayn gave him earlier. “Sit,” he whispers to Liam then and he does, taking the chair in front of him.

“Mrs. Roberts told me you were reading Romeo & Juliet?”

Liam is picking his stuff from his backpack and he gives Zayn a nod of his head before putting his novel between them. Zayn picks it up and flips the pages for a bit before looking at Liam, “Did you take any notes?”

“Not really?”

Zayn frowns again before searching for something on his laptop so Liam starts to look into his novel, starts reading where he was, at some ball where the two of them finally meet. “You have read it though, yeah?” Zayn asks him, his eyes still on his screen.

“I started it. I’m at the ball scene but…”

“But?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Is that why you didn’t take any notes?”

“Yeah, it’s pointless. I’m in school for football, anyway.”

He knows soon enough that he shouldn’t have said that. That he sounded like a right jerk. Zayn is majoring in English and Liam doesn’t know a lot about it but he kind of knows that Shakespeare is like, the master of it and that Romeo & Juliet is a classic. He knows that if Zayn had talked some shit about football, Liam would probably have been angry at him too.

But he doesn’t understand most of it. How can two people fall in love so fast? And die even faster? He had seen the movie. The one with Leo and that girl that was also in Stardust. But he still doesn’t get what is the point of that whole war between two families and those two teenagers stuck in the middle of it.

“Well,” Zayn looks pissed. Liam had said like, two sentences to him and he managed to piss him off those two times, “Let’s start with showing you how not shit it is, let’s try to make you understand the story better okay?”

He picks at Liam’s book again and opens it to the first page, “I’ll read it with you, scene by scene and then you’re going to tell me what you understood of that scene, what you learned and you’re gonna take some notes. We’re going to read until the ball scene since that’s where you are and for next week I want you to be done with it. It’s a short novel you can read the rest in a week.”

“But I have football practice on most week nights.”

“Are your football friends failing English too, Liam?”

Liam just crosses his arms like a petulant child at that, not bothering giving Zayn an answer to his question. He reads the first line and then stops, “You taking notes or what?”

Liam picks up his notebook and his pen and listens as Zayn starts again, he tries to concentrate on the words instead of Zayn’s pretty voice and he doesn’t look up to stare at his lips while he reads...much. He takes a few notes, a few words now and then about stuff he thinks are important, about characters he likes.

As Zayn reaches the part where Liam was before today, he closes the book and looks at him with expectant eyes, “So?”

“I think they fall in love too quickly.”

Zayn laughs quietly at those words, a cute little chuckle and he bites his lips doing so and Liam thinks it’s his new favorite thing. He hates even more making Zayn angry now that he knows what he looks like when he laughs.

“Yeah, well it’s a play, Liam. It was like the movies of that century so yeah, things goes fast and some are not so realistic. But there’s more to that story than what you see right now. There is much more hidden stuff when you stop to really think about it.”

They spend the next half hour speaking about the story and Zayn’s tone stays cold, though, like he wants this to stay professional, like he wants to show Liam that he is serious and that he wants him to be that too. Zayn gives him his opinion on the book and tries to make Liam speaks about his own, about what he understood and what he didn’t.

“All of it! I just don’t get it, it’s stupid!”

“Could you stop for two seconds maybe, saying that what I love is stupid?” Zayn all but snaps at him, “I’m here to help you Liam but you’re making this pretty fucking difficult right now. It’s like you’re so sure you won’t understand that you don’t even try! You’re not stupid, stop acting like you are. ”

Liam feels anger rising in himself at those words, Zayn’s words hitting him right in the chest because of the hidden truth in them. He won’t waste more of his time on a boy who treats him like that, even if said boy is one of the prettiest he has even seen. He grabs all his stuff and quickly shoves them in his backpack, “You don’t even know me!” he all but spits to Zayn before leaving the Library and that beautiful confused boy behind him.

 

***

 

“And you just ran away? Oh Liam.”

Louis is clearly judging him and he can almost feel him rolling his eyes on the other side of the line.

“Well yeah! He talks like he knows me. Like he is better than me with his nerdy glasses and his cool chest tattoos and his hair falling gracfully into his face like he just walked out of a god damn fashion show!”

“Oh. That’s it then. You fancy him."

 _WHAT?_ That’s not the point. He is attractive, yeah but he turned out to be an asshole, treating Liam like he was stupid. Liam doesn’t like him.

“I don’t like him Louis! I saw him once and he treated me like I was some stupid high school football player with no brain!”

“You’re over-reacting. First, from what you told me, you kinda act like a football player with no brain. You called him babe withtout even knowing him and you did insult him a few times so he gave you the same treatment. He’s here to help you, Liam. If you wanna play footie next year, you need to accept being helped. Put that pride of yours away, that fear you have of looking stupid in front of him because you think he is attractive and smart. Let him help you and I promise you everything is going to be easier and better.”

“I hate you. You’re suppose to be on my side.”

But he knows Louis is right and the truth always hurts a little bit. Liam spent too many years being bullied because of the way he looked or because he wasn’t smart enough. It pretty much stopped when he started to play football, something he was finally good at and when he started to hang out with Niall Horan and he just instantly became a little bit cooler than he was and the bullying finally stopped.

In front of Zayn, he is scared of being that little Liam that isn’t good enough all over again. He did treat him the wrong way. He is here to help and Liam acted like a total jerk just because he had been scared of his ego being bruised.

“I’m gonna apologize next week. If he shows up.”

“That’s my boy. And read that book too. You are not stupid Liam. No matter what that twisted little brain of yours believes. Show him the Liam I know and adore. He will fall into your arms in no time.”

“That’s not the point but thank’s Lou. Love you.”

“Love you too. And if you have trouble with the book this week, call me.”

“Will do, bye!”

He hangs up and looks at his phone screen turning black. Then he looks at his bag that he had thrown in the corner of his room earlier and with a sigh, he walks to it and picks up his book out of it. Sitting on his desk, he opens his notebook and starts reading, noting all the things going through his mind, good, bad, whatever. He’s going to apologize to Zayn, explain what happened and then he is going to pass that stupid English class.

  
  


***

  
  


He spends his whole week working hard and he even has enough time to read the book twice. He calls Louis too many times and even goes to Mrs. Roberts after class to ask her some questions. She asks her own about Zayn and about how the tutoring session went the week before and Liam only lies a little when he told her everything went great.

It’s Saturday morning again and Liam is standing in front of the Library for the second time. It’s a bit chilly today so he put his favorite Adidas hoodie on top of his dark blue ripped jeans. He adjusts his snapback on top of his curls before climbings those stairs, feeling almost as nervous as he is before a game. It’s just a boy, he keeps repeating himself, he probably won’t even like you back. But still, he just wants to be good, to apologize for last week and to show Zayn who the real Liam is. Maybe they can be friend even if Zayn doesn’t want to kiss him like Liam does.

Liam hates how exposed he feels without his team, without a ball at his feet. The real Liam is vulnerable and there aren’t many of his friends that are aware of this part of him, apart from Louis and Niall. It’s a facade, the cool football player. It’s better that way, like this, he isn’t bullied by anyone, anymore. But it doesn’t mean his bravery isn’t faked most of the time. He acted like a real jerk to Zayn last time, and he is more than ready to prove him wrong today.

Zayn isn’t at the front desk when Liam enters the Library but he finds him easily at the same table as last week. He wears big headphones on his ears and his hair is falling into his eyes again while he is making silly doodles on the pages of his notebook. Liam takes the chair right in front of him and can’t help but smile a little when he sees Zayn jumps with surprise.

Removing his headphones, he whispers to Liam, “Wasn’t so sure about you showing up today...”

He still sounds cold and distant and his eyes barely meet Liam’s as he speaks. He puts his heaphones and his notebook back in his bag before pulling his laptop and his own copy of Romeo and Juliet from it. It’s clear it has been read a lot just by the look of it. It’s worn out and a few pages are bent and the cover is barely holding on to the rest of the book.

“You read it a lot?” asks Liam, trying to be nice to him, trying to make a decent conversation with him.

“Yeah, I really love that book,” and his tone is defensive, like he is daring Liam to talk shit about it like he did last week.

“All my comics look pretty much the same. I’ve read them too much.”

Zayn’s expression kind of softens at those words but it’s so quick Liam is pretty sure it was a funny trick of his imagination. He takes his own novel and notebook out of his bag and flips through the pages, searching for the notes he took all over the week.

“So, um… I had enough time to read it twice over the last week and I took a lot of notes as you can see. I just wrote pretty much every thought that had crossed my mind, some of it probably doesn’t make any sense but.. yeah.”

Liam looks back at Zayn who is just blinking at him, looking between the pages of the notebook, full of words Liam had wrote, and his face. Like he is confused by what Liam just said to him.

“Is it… Okay? I thought I could give that story another chance.”

Like me, thought Liam. Like I would love for you to give me a second chance because I was a complete jerk to you and I want to apologize so bad. “I don’t have time for your jokes, Liam. You were already a pain in my ass last week if you’re not serious about this, I’m done and you’ll have to find another tutor.”

Okay. Things aren’t going as smoothly as Liam had thought they would go. _What_? Why does Zayn think that he is joking? He is even grabbing his stuff on the table and putting them back in his bag. Liam starts to panic, needs to find something to do, something to prove to Zayn that he is serious. He had thought that, just showing all the hard work he had done over the week would be enough as an apology for Zayn, but clearly he was wrong.

“I’m sorry,” he says out loud, grabbing at Zayn’s wrist too, to stop him to keep packing his stuff and leaving. “I know how I acted last week and I regret it. That was my way of saying sorry, all the hard work I did this week. I wanted to prove to you that I’m serious. That I am really sorry. Please, Zayn. I’m not joking ok?”

Zayn looks down at Liam for a few beats, blinking at him in complete silence like he is trying to see if Liam is serious or not. His glances quickly shift to Liam’s eyes and to his fingers still wrapped around Zayn wrist and Liam slowly lets go of him, missing the softness of his warm skin already.

“Okay,” says Zayn before sitting back in his chair in front of Liam, “But it’s your last chance Liam, if you act like last week, I’m sorry but I’m done helping you.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry.”

Zayn looks at him for a long time, a heavy frown on his beautiful, sharp features. He looks at Liam like he is studying him, like he is one of those books that he reads everyday for school. Zayn looks at Liam like he is some kind of enigma that he desperately wants to understand and under his curious eyes, Liam feels exposed like he never has before. He feels a bit naked but in a nice, overwhelming kind of way. It’s a first and Liam learns that there is some good ways of feeling vulnerable.  And he wants Zayn to figure it out, who he really is, he wants Zayn to like what he sees as much as Liam does when he looks at him.

The older boy just shakes his head, like he is trying to sort his thoughts and just takes his stuff again, looking at Liam from under his fringe of silky dark hair, “I don’t know which one is the real Liam. Is it the one I see today or the jerk I saw last week?”

“Today,” Liam says in a soft whisper and Zayn just nods his head, muttering something under his breath that sounds like “I fucking hope so.”

Zayn just takes Liam’s notebook and reads his notes, picking his green highlighter at some point, turning a big part of Liam’s notes a bright green colour. He takes a red pen too, writing only a few things with it and Liam thinks it’s a good thing. Green must be good and red must be bad, that’s how it works right?

When he finally looks up at Liam, he is smiling at him. He turns the notebook towards Liam and he sounds almost proud when he says “That was really good Liam.”

He stands up then, at he sits back in the chair right next to Liam instead of the one in front of him so they can both look at the notes together. His arm is resting against Liam from shoulder to elbow and he smells so good, Liam gets distracted by his cologne for a few seconds.

“See, the stuff I put i green is good but, it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Like you’re in the right path but you just need to go a little bit deeper. But you mostly understand what it’s all about. What I put in red is where you’re totally wrong but hey, theyre is only a few stuff in red so that’s really good.”

Liam feels warm suddenly. He doesn’t know if it’s because of Zayn being that close to him, or if it’s because he is proud of himself, or even because Zayn himself sounds so proud of him. He doesn’t even think of football, doesn’t think ; _wow, that hard work I did will probably help me stay on the team_ , no. He thinks, I made him proud, and Louis was right and Liam hates him a little bit for it but yeah, he really, really likes Zayn.

 

***

 

On Sunday afternoon, Liam and Niall drive back to town to go into that little comic book shop that Liam loves so much. He needs new stuff to read, stuff other than Romeo & Juliet because as much as he wants to work hard and get a good grade on that exam,he needs a bit more action than two teenagers being deadly in love with each other. There is a lack of explosions and lasers and villains from other galaxies, in his life lately.

As he walks through the doors, his heart just stops because standing in a corner of the shop, with his nose buried into an issue of Green Lantern, is Zayn. There is also a tall boy next to him with a head of brown curls and a shirt with flowery patterns that strangely fits him really nicely. Zayn has not noticed him yet and Liam is considering going back though the door and just getting out and away but Niall, the best friend that he is, speaks quite loudly next to him,

“You’re moving or what Liam?”

And at those words, Zayn raises his head and their eyes meets accross the shop, a blinding smile making it’s way on Zayn’s beautiful features, lighting up his whole face and making him even more beautiful, if such thing is possible.

He puts his comic back on the shelf and starts walking towards Liam so he does the same and they meet halfway, in front of a Batman cardboard figure. He is not wearing his glasses today and his hair is tied up at the top of his skull, showing the shaved sides of his head. In a way, his cheekbones looks sharper like that, his eyes bigger too. There is a silver necklace resting between his collarbones and disappearing into the collar of his shirt, his arms full of ink are not hidden beneath a big sweater today and he looks nothing like the English nerd Liam sees in the Library every Saturday.

“Leeyum,” he says, stretching the vowels in such a nice way, in such a Zayn way, “Looking for new comics?”

Liam thinks he is blushing and he doesn’t really know why. Must be the way Zayn looks happy to see him, like really happy, for the first time ever really. Or the way he is smiling at him and how his eyes are looking at every part of Liam’s he can. Like he is checking him out but in a cool, subtle way. And Liam is cursing himself for forgetting his snapback home, his curls all messed up by the wind as Niall was driving with the windows down earlier. He is hating himself for wearing his oldest pair of sweatpants, resting way too low on his hips, showing a bit of his black boxer briefs when his t-shirt goes up.

He rubs a hand onto the back of his neck, looking at Zayn’s boots for a few moments before looking back up to his eyes and answering him with a light shrug of his shoulders, “I do enjoy Romeo & Juliet a bit more because of you but still, comics are more my thing.”

Zayns laughs at those words, a cute laugh where his eyes scrunch up and his tongue pokes behind his front teeth, “It’s okay, you’re not an English nerd like I am, I get it.”

“Who’s your friend?” Liam kind of forgot that Niall is still standing next to them, and he almost jumps when his friend finally speaks again.

“Um, Harry? The one with the curls over there?”

“Yeah. He is hot!”

Zayn snorts, and so does Liam at those words. He was glad to have Niall as a best friend when he finally found the courage to tell him he was into boys. And he was even more glad to hear him say that he was pretty much into anything pretty himself and that he was not going to judge Liam about his preferences. And it looks like Harry was one of the pretty things that could catch Niall’s eyes.

“What about you go over there and try to get his number then, Nialler?”

“I’m a man on a mission, Leemo!”

Zayn laughs again and Liam is slowly falling in love with that sound, “I like your friend,” he says, as they both watch Niall saying something to Harry. The curly haired boy first looks up with an offended look on his face, but Niall says something else and his look quickly turn into a smile. Soon enough, he is laughing with a nice shade of red covering his cheeks.

“Yeah, Ni is the best really.”

“Best friend?”

“Yup! The best I could have dreamed of. Really supportive. When I was being bullied when i was younger he was always the first one to take my defense.”

“Oh. I’m sorry Liam”

He didn’t even realize the confession he just made to Zayn, it was too late. He is so grateful to all the things Niall had done to him and it’s just... Easy, speaking to Zayn. Maybe he wants to prove to him that he really isn’t a jerk, that his life just been a bit difficult a while ago and that he still has a bit of trouble dealing with it all.

“S’okay. It’s over now. Football team and everything.”

“Right,” Zayn doesn’t look so sure about that football thing, about it being so good for Liam, but he keeps it for himself, speaking about their tutoring session instead, “Mrs Roberts told me she was going to give you the subjects for the exam this week. You will have 3 different subjects to write your essay about. Maybe you can pick yours and we could work on it together next Saturday so you’ll be ready for your exam on Monday?”

“Sounds brilliant!”

“Great!”

Zayn’s smile is doing weird things to his stomach. It’s like everytime he smiles, hundred of butterflies are flying inside of him. He feels lighter too, like those butterflies are trying to take him away with them. But at the same time, he feels strangely grounded. Like for once, into Zayn’s eyes, he finally sees who he really is.

They quit the shop maybe half an hour later, with a handful of comic books, and stupid smiles on both of their faces. Niall was better than him though, because he does have Harry’s number in his pocket, and all Liam’ has is a bunch on butterflies flying around in his stomach, wilder than ever, and cheeks of a bright red feeling warm under his touch.

 

***

 

Liam is quite tipsy. No. Who is he kidding? He is completely drunk.

The whole football team has been invited to that Uni party and Liam of course, had followed his team mates without complaints. The fact that Niall had told him that Harry and Zayn were going to be there kind of helped.

Zayn. Oh god.

His last tutoring session is tomorrow and he is going to miss him so much. He is also going to be so hangover.

He was hoping to see him tonight and maybe talk to him but he is nowhere to be seen and he drank a bit too much to give himself some liquid courage.

He is sitting on the couch, between Tom and Andy and Niall is nowhere to be seen. Probably somehwere with Harry. Liam feels a bit jealous, now that he is drunk. Because it was so easy for him to go and talk to Harry and flirt with him and get his number. They had texted each other all week and Niall wore that cute little pink blush high on his cheeks when he talked to Liam about how amazing Harry was.

With Zayn though, Liam isn’t that successful. The boy probably hated him straight away because he was such a jerk to him. He knows that it’s kind of okay now, because Liam had apologized and Zayn seems to be fine with him but… It’s hard to know if he maybe wants Liam the same way. He is just some high school football player, how can some brilliant and beautiful English major could like him when he is having trouble understanding the meaning of Romeo & Juliet?

“Wow. Look at Max with those two sluts,” says a voice next to him. Andy or Tom, Liam isn’t so sure with his mind hazy with alcohol. He hears them laugh though, so he laughs too. He laughs to stop thinking about Zayn and the fact that he was suppose to be here and that he is not.

After that, all he hears are words making no sense at all, like fat and fag and ugly and nerd and he laughs because he is drunk and he don’t want to be with those boys, he don’t want to be their friends anymore because they’re always jerks to people, they are mean and stupid. But Liam’s laughs because it’s better than being alone. He wants Niall, but he doesn’t know where it is.

“Wow man, have you lost your way to the Library or something?” The Library. It reminds him of Zayn and his beautiful eyes, his long fingers and his silvers rings, his glasses making him look so adorable even if underneath them he is beautiful, in a breath taking kind of way. He smiles because he feels like smiling every time he thinks about the other boy.

“Christ. You’re right. I was looking for books and all I’ve found are three jerks, drunk out of their mind making fun of other people. How stupid I am.”

That voice, Liam knows that voice, Liam is dreaming of that voice whispering dirty words in his ear.

“Zayn?” Liam says, quite breathlessly, his laughter quickly dying on his lips.

“Liam. I thought you were different. But clearly I was wrong.”

He left with those words, turning his back at Liam and walking away from him.

“You know that queer Liam?” asks Tom, smirking down at him.

And that’s enough. Those words, that judmental look into Tom’s eyes, this is Liam’s breaking point. They can make fun of who the fuck they want, but he won’t let them make fun of Zayn and call him names like he should be ashamed of who he is.

“Yeah, I know him,” Liam all but slurred back at him. Stupid beer and stupid Liam for getting drunk. “He’s my friend. And if you ask me, I want to fucking kiss him. All the time! So i guess you better call me a queer too, right Tom? And what about Niall who is probably making out with another dude somewhere in the house uh? I’m so tired of all of you being judgmental stupid jerks all the time.”

He leaves with that, trying to run after Zayn but he can’t find him in the house and he is too angry and drunk and his vision is blurry and he hates himself so much for letting him go. He ends up in the front porch, looking on both sides of the street, hoping to see his figure walking away but he doesn’t. The street is completely empty apart form the cars parked in front of the house. He lets himself dropped into his ass in the front stairs, burrying his head into his arms and he feels like crying.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, I guess you can say that.”

Liam looks to his left where he can see Zayn in the dark. There is a pair of swings hanging from a tree and he is sitting on one of them, holding a cigarette between his fingers. Liam stand up so fast he almost falls face first into the grass.

“I’m so sorry Zayn I --”

“No. I am. I’m sorry for thinking you were better than them. I guess I was wrong.”

“But I am!”

He is standing right before Zayn now, his hands resting on the chains to keep himself upright and also to stop Zayn from swinging and looking anywhere but at Liam.

“I am. I just don’t know how to act anymore. How to be myself. Those boys are the first ones to accept me after I spent years being bullied. That team is the only friends I have. And they are shit, I give you that. But apart from Niall, I have nothing else than football and those jerks.”

“That’s not what it looked like back there Liam...”

Liam groans in frustration, tightening his hold onto the chains. At least Zayn isn’t walking away. At least he doesn’t look that angry anymore even though he is looking at his feet instead of Liam’s face.

“I feel like all I’ve done is try to prove to you that i’m not stupid, that I’m not a complete jerk like my friends are. I feel like I tried to show you who the real me is, and just failed miserably. It’s like the more I want you to like me, the less you do. I just want you to like me _so much_ , Zayn.”

“You don’t have to try really hard for that, Leeyum.”

With those words Zayn closes one of his hands on top of Liam around’s the swing’s chain, “That’s why it’s so frustrating. I see the real you, at the Library last week, at the comic book shop too... I like the real you, but it seems so easy for you to turn that jerk mode on, it sucks... It sucks because I know how great you can be without all of them.”

“S’not my jerk mode on. S’my drunk mode on.”

With a quiet chuckle, Zayn puts an arm around Liam’s and turns him around, pulling him closer until he is sitting on his lap, both of them on the swing and he can hear the chains complaining because of their combined weights.

“Is that why you’re saying all fo this to me now? Because you’re drunk?” Zayn’s voice is still soft though, no accusation in his tone, just curiousity.

“No… Well maybe I’m telling it now because I’m drunk but that’s what m’thinking for real. You make me wanna be better, better than them, for once.”

“So you ran after me to apologize.”

“Told them to fuck off, told them I wanted to kiss your face and then I tried to find you.”

Liams feels Zayn’s hold thightening around his waist, he also feels like Zayn is trying to hide his smile against his shoulder because, he can feel that mouth stretching against the fabric of his shirt. He put one of his hands on top of Zayn’s and plays with his rings, paying more attention to the one with a skull, his favorite one.

He should be embarassed about telling Zayn he wants to kiss him but he is not. It’s the truth and Liam wants to be honest with himself for once.

“I have Louis too. Louis s’my friend too. I’m sure you would like him.”

“And where is Louis?” Zayns asks softly, his thumb drawing comforting circles against Liam’s nuckles.

“Few towns ‘way. We met on vacations. He gave me my first blowjob. But we’re jus’ friends now.”

“Okay, stud. You’re way too drunk. I’m gonna drive you back home. Come on.”

Liam tries to stand up but he feels so sleepy suddenly. His legs feels like cotton and he would have loved to just take a nap into Zayn’s arms just then. He was suppose to sleep at Niall’s tonight but he have absolutely no idea where he is. Zayn tells him that he saw him leave with Harry earlier and when he finally fishes his phone from his pocket, he sees few texts from his friend saying just that.

“Fuck…”

“Wanna come back to mine? Bed’s big enough. I can even take the couch if you don’t feel comfortable.”

Liam only nods and gladly takes the hand Zayn is offering him. Hopefully they don’t have to walk because Zayn guides Liam to an old car and helps him get into the passenger seat, even helping him putting his seatbelt on. He remembers Zayn asking him if he is okay and he closes his eyes, just for a few minutes, he tells himself, but when he opens them again, he is being shaked awake by Zayn’s gentle hands.

“Wake up Liam. Or I’ll have to carry you up the stairs.”

Liams feels a bit more sober after sleeping a bit even if he also feels nauseous. He can’t be sick in Zayn’s car and even less in Zayn’s room. He follows him into the stairs, enjoying the safe and warm feeling of Zayn’s hand in the small of his back.

They walk down Zayn’s dorms corridor in silence before stopping in front of a door full of post it stickers. Quotes are written on them, in what Liam recognize being Zayn’s handwritting. It must be quotes from his favorite books because words are still blurring in front of his eyes and he is missing most of them. One post-it, a purple one, catches his attention : “ _When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew_.”

“I know that one.” Liam says, pointing at the post-it and Zayn’s answering smile makes Liam wonder if he knows, if that smile means exactly the same thing as on the post-it, because he’s pretty sure he is falling in love with Zayn more and more everytime he sees him.

Zayn grabs his wrist and pulls him inside the room. It’s not as small as Liam thought, there is a queen sized bed, a desk with a laptop on it, a book shelf full of books and comics, and also a small couch. There are posters on the walls, from movies, bands, and comic book covers. Liam loves pretty much every part of the room just like he loves every part of Zayn he has discovered so far.

“Come here,” Zayn says before pushing Liam onto his bed. He kneels before him and helps him remove his shoes and his socks while Liam fights with his plaid shirt buttons. Zayn’s fingers are quickly next to this own, helping him remove the shirt and then his jeans, until he sits on the corner of Zayn’s bed in only his boxers and an old white t-shirt.

“You can have the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

No. Liam grabs at Zayn’s hand, not his wrist like they did before, his hand. Intertwining their fingers together and looking at their skin tone, different, but also so beautiful against each other, “If I ask you to stay, would you?”

“If that is what you want, babe.”

“I want to. But, can we just sleep? I feel really tired and a bit sick.”

Zayn’s other hand comes to rest against his cheek, pushing a few curls away from his eyes, “Get comfortable i’ll grab some water for ya.”

Liam does so, wriggling on top of Zayn’s duvet until he is up against the plush pillows and he feels Zayn helping him getting under the sheets and the last thing he remember is the sound of a door being closed and the delicious smell of Zayn’s cologne invading his senses.

  
  


***

 

He wakes up the next morning with a mouth tasting like death and feeling a bit too hot. He opens his eyes to see a tall glass of water on the bed side table next to him and two tablets of something to help him get rid of his headache.

It’s half past seven and he is being held by heavily tattooed arms, feeling warm breath against the back of his neck. Zayn. He tries to just go back to sleep because he doesn’t want to disturb Zayn and wake him up, but that tall glass of water is everything he needs right now.

He succeeds in sitting up, Zayn only mumbling a few words before resting his head back on Liam’s stomach. Liam sits up with his back against the pillows and takes his tablets while drinking the whole glass and putting it back to it’s place. He stays like that, closing his eyes and trying to remember what happened last night.

Getting drunk, Zayn being mad at him, him yelling at his friends and running after Zayn. He’s pretty sure he told him he wanted to kiss him at some point but it shouldn’t be that bad because he is in Zayn’s bed this morning after all. And in Zayn’s arms as well.

Feeling Zayn’s lips against his stomach, even though his shirt gives him goosebumps everywhere and he can’t help but run his fingers into Zayn’s hair, scratching his nails against the shaved parts. He feels Zayn’s breath changing then, like he is slowly waking up and he almost feels bad about it, until Zayn cranes his neck to look up at him, trying to blink the sleep out his heavy eyes.

“Morning.”

“Good morning.”

He stays right where he is though, his face still buried into Liam’s stomach and it looks like he is enjoying the fact that Liam is playing with his hair so he keeps doing it. One of Zayn’s hands is flat against his hip, just where is thigh ends and he pushes a few fingers under Liam’s shirt, softly tracing the bone here and Liam feels a sigh leaves his lips like he is enjoying the feel of Liam’s warm skin even more than those fingers agaisnt his scalp. Liam sure does enjoy it himself.

“I’m still sorry,” says Liam, almost in a whisper. He feels like he has a lot to apologize for because last night was kind of shit. He feels like he should explain to Zayn why it’s so hard for him to be constant in the way he acts.

“I know. It’s okay.”

“When I was younger, I was bullied, beaten even a few times. Came home with blood on my face and bruises all over. It took me a lot to talk about it to my parent’s. Felt like it was my fault if the boys at school hated me. Then I met Niall and I started to play football. For once, I was useful for something, I was appreciated and people at school knew who I was. Sadly they all acted like complete idiots but, I played along because those were the only friends I had. Niall hates them too. I see him looking at me sometimes like he is disapointed when I make fun of other poeple just to fit in.”

Zayn had rolled over while he spoke, still resting his head against Liam’s stomach but now facing him.

“School is still a bit hard, especially English. And I feel like it’s primary school all over again, like I’m not good enough, like I’m stupid. I was scared of you thinking I was all of those things.”

“Liam…”

“That’s why I… I was so blunt with you the first time. Because you saw right through me like barely anyone ever does and.. That was scary and, when I’m scared, I turn into “Jerk mode”, like you said last night.”

“Do you really wanna kiss my face?”

He was smiling, speaking those words and Liam feels a heavy blush on his cheeks because oh, yeah, he did say that last night. He only nods to Zayn, looking pretty much anywhere but into his eyes.

The older boy sits up, facing Liam and he is kind of missing the comforting warmth of Zayn’s body against his own. But then Zayn is facing him, one hand on his chest and the other softly cupping his cheeks, “When I first saw you at the Library, I thought, _Oh God_ , how am I suppose to concentrate and be a proper tutor for that boy when he is so gorgeous. But then you talked, and called me babe with that stupid cocky smirk on your face and I was, oh right, wouldn’t be that hard actually. He is just that kind of stupid jock I hated all through high school... But the next week you came back with your backpack full of apologies and hard work and… What I’m trying to say is that I really wanna kiss your face too, Liam.”

“Can I just, maybe brush my teeth before because I feel like something died in my mouth.”

Zayn lets his head fall onto Liam’s shoulder and laughs, sending shivers all over him again. Zayn gives him a small kiss on the cheeks though and says, “Yeah I think I have a spare tootbrush for ya, come on babe.”

He’s been called babe a few times by Zayn since last night and, everytime it feels as good as the first time. Like a hug, warm and comforting, like having his hair being played with. It’s like everytime Zayn calls him babe, he tells Liam how much he cares about it, and Liam loves that a lot.

There is a small sink right behind Zayn’s front door and Zayn looks through his stuff where he finally finds a new purple toothbrush, still in it’s wrapping that he gave Liam with a small flush on his cheeks. They brush their teeth next to each other, exchanging looks in the mirror above the sink.

Liam only have time to rince the foam from his mouth before he is turned around by Zayn, his lower back pushing almost painfully against the sink. He’s barely feeling it though, not when Zayn’s body is so close to his own. He bares his teeth in a forced smile, showing how clean they are and smelling like fresh mint, looking at Liam with cute little sparkles in his eyes, “Can I kiss you now?”

Liam puts his hands easily on Zayn’s waist as the latter is wrapping his own arms around Liam’s neck. Zayn pushes his noses against Liam’s once, their lips barely touching and that simple gesture is enough to make Liam smile and to loosen all the knots inside of is stomach. All the nervousness he felt about kissing Zayn is gone. They both wants it just as much and he shouldn’t be anxious about it anymore and when their lips finally meet, it’s more than enough of a confirmation that it was the best thing he could have done, being honest, being himself for once.

Zayn’s mouth is minty fresh against his own and his lips are still a bit dry from sleep. He kisses him softly at first, like he is testing Liam’s limits, like he doesn’t want to push too far, not wanting to scare him. Almost tenderly, he pushes his fingers through Liam’s curls and tugs just a little bit to angle his head exactly where he wants it. Liam is pliant under his fingers and mostly under his mouth, moving slowly and following Zayn’s lead because he loves it, because he trusts him.

He feels Zayn’s tongue against his lips and it’s more than enough for him to open his mouth and let their tongues have a taste of each other’s. His hold around Zayn’s waist tightens and he pulls him closer to his body, leaving a hand just above his ass while the other one slowly goes up his back to tangle in his hair. He tries to pull just a little, to see if Zayn likes to have his hair pulled as much as he does, and the answering groan he swallows with his own mouth is the best of responses.

Zayn’s hands leave his hair but only to grab at the fabric of his shirt to keep him close as he slowly walks back to the bed, their mouth still connected. Zayn is the one pulling away though, sitting at the end of his bed and pulling Liam to stand in front of him. He pushes a few fingers under Liam’s plain shirt, pulling it up and kissing his hip, just above the waistband of his boxers.

He moves his mouth to the other hip and then he kisses against Liam’s bellybutton and bite a bit higher on his stomach, “I knew you were hiding a six-pack under those clothes.” 

With those words, Liam completely removes his shirt before throwing it somewhere in the room and he feels his whole body turning red under the intensity of Zayn’s eyes, “Gorgeous.” he says, his lips against the trail of dark blond hair disappearing into Liam’s pants. 

Zayn keep kissing his stomach, leaving bite marks on his way. His hands are everywhere, on his thighs, right on his ass and sometimes, some incredibly delicious times, he palms at Liam’s cock, just a few teasing touches to keep him real hard and to make that dark patch of precum at the front of it grow bigger with every seconds. 

“Zayn. _Please_.”

“I’m gonna suck your cock so good, babe, you’re gonna forget about that friend of yours you told me about last night.”

Liam couldn’t help but laugh at those words, he couldn’t believe he said those things to Zayn. But if it was what jealousy did to Zayn well he couldn’t really complain right? “Jealous?”

“Very.” 

And it’s pretty much the only warning Liam receives before his boxers are pulled down his legs and he is standing, gloriously naked and really fucking hard in front of a shirtless and sleep rumpled Zayn Malik. It’s one of the best moment of his life so far. 

Zayn licks at his palm before closing it around Liam’s shaft and he pumps it a few times before closing his mouth around the tip, his cheeks hollowing and his tongue doing some kind of wonders all around the head of his cock. Liam’s feels his knees getting weak just by the feeling of Zayn’s warm mouth around him. 

Zayn puts a strong hand against his waist, to hold him upright but also to keep him from bucking too quick into his mouth. Zayn is a tease who wants to control and enjoy every moment of the pleasure he is giving to Liam, it seems. 

It is one of the best blowjobs he has ever received he needs to admit it. He doesn’t know if it’s because Zayn is really a talented bastard with his mouth of if it’s just because it’s him, it’s Zayn, sucking his dick and jerking him with his hand at the same time.

Liam remembers Zayn’s reaction when he pulled his hair earlier, so he does it again. Slipping his fingers in the longer strands and giving a quick tug. He feels Zayn’s whimpers around his cock and _fuck,_ it feels so good. It seems to give Zayn a purpose to suck harder and to jerk his hand quicker around Liam’s and he knows he won’t last. Everything just feels so good and he feels sweat rolling down his back and his pulls at Zayn’s hair another time, going dizzy with all the sensations Zayn’s mouth was giving to him. 

One of Zayn’s hand makes his way between his legs and he feels one dry finger circling his hole and it’s enough for him to come without a warning, to fill Zayn’s mouth and his throat as his hips are stuttering through the force of his orgasm, his hands still in Zayn’s hair, his grip not loosening. 

When he finally open his eyes, wondering how the hell he is still standing on his two feet, he looks down at Zayn to see him licking at his lips, his mouth red and wet and looking completely ruined by Liam’s dick. He pushes at Zayn shoulders then, and climbs into bed with him, straddling his hips and feeling his still hard length against the naked skin of his ass.

“Sorry, I should’ve warned you or something.”

“Nah. I like the way you taste,” and to prove his point he kisses Liam, resting his hands against his bare skin and pulling him closer, rolling his hips up to try to get some friction on his own cock still begging for some attention, “I think I could use a hand.”

“My hand?”

Liam rolls onto his side, not on top of Zayn anymore but still close and he slips his hand down Zayn’s sweatpants, hiding a low groan into the skin of Zayn’s collarbone because he isn't wearing anything beneath them and even if Liam is completely naked himself, the thought of Zayn going commando makes heat grow into his lower stomach. Like he could easily go for round two quicker than he thought. It doesn’t take much for Zayn to come too, to spill into his pants and all over Liams’s hand.

Liam pulls his hand back and instead of cleaning it on the sheets or with some tissues that he can see on Zayn’s bedside table, he licks at his palm and fingers, enjoying how Zayn’s dark eyes are taking him in like it’s the hottest thing he has ever see. “You taste better." says Liam right against his lips, pulling him closer for some lazy after sex kisses. 

They do clean up a little bit afterwards, Liam finding some cloth next to Zayn’s sink and wetting it under the water before cleaning them both because Zayn is one useless pile of sexiness after an orgasm. All he does is make grabby hands at Liam, begging him to come back to bed, that he is cold without him.

They fall back asleep quickly after this, forgetting the fact that it is Saturday and that they probably should work on Liam’s assignment of Romeo & Juliet that he needs to do on Monday morning. 

When Liam wakes up a few hours later, he is alone in Zayn’s bed, two little post-its notes on the pillow next to him. The first one is green and says : _Went for a smoke. You looked too cute so I didn’t wake you up. I’ll be back soon with some food. Z xx._

The other one is purple and Liam recognize it too well even if he was pretty wasted the night before, it’s not the whole quote, but the most important part and Liam can’t help but smile when he reads it : _“And you smiled because you knew”_

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know? I wanted some bad boy Liam needing tutoring in English but I failed at writing Liam as a bad boy because I just love this boy way too much to make him bad, even more with Zayn. Anyway, hope you liked it?
> 
> Thank's to Avery, forever and again and to Clo and Vanessa to always be my personal cheerleaders. :)


End file.
